Liebe ist Krieg.

Everything is silent

2009-11-11T01:24:17Z

I saw Finch on Friday. It was amazing.
The first thing that happened when I walked into the Marquee was I was greeted by R2K. He asked Jenee and I if we were fans of Finch or Bless the Fall. I of course said Finch, then he asked me what I wanted to buy. I told him I didn't have any money. So I got a free poster and a download card. We missed the first two bands and got there as Drop Dead Gorgeous was going on. They played 2 songs that I knew, all the others were from their new album(s). Then Finch went on. AMAZING. I was singing so hard that my stomach was burning. I was dripping sweat as well. It was amazing to see Nate Barcalow again. I haven't been to a Finch show in a long long long long time. What I love about Nate is that he's passionate while singing. He closes his eyes and gets into it. When he screams he turns his body into this weird stance and shakes when he screams. The man can write some good fucking songs too. I talked their guitarist after the show and told him that the first time I saw them was back in the day when they played with New Found Glory, he said "Back in 2002. How old are you now?" "22" "so you were about 16 then, thats amazing!" We chatted with him for a while and went and hung out at Marshall's house until 4 in the morning. I came home watched 2 episodes of Queer as Folk and tired to sleep. Didn't go very well. And now today I'm extremely tired, or my body is at least. My mind is awake my body feels like its on shut down mode.
But the moral of the story is I fucking love Finch. Fan for life.

Writer's Block: The one that got away

2009-10-09T13:03:40Z

Do you believe in the concept of a soulmate? Do you think you've met him or her? Do you ever worry that "the one" got away?

View 1843 Answers

</td></tr></tbody></table>Sometimes I believe in soulmates. Maybe it's just wishful thinking. There are SOOOO many people in the world that it could be possible but you just never meet that person. I believe friends can be soulmates as well, I have two friends that I consider my soulmates. As for romantic love, I've never found the perfect one for me. Like others have said, you could have hundreds of souldmates. You know, maybe there is no such things as soulmates at all, maybe its just a "good match". Who knows... I'll let you know when I find him. HA!

Another dream

2009-09-30T22:03:26Z

Had a dream about Kellan this time. It was like I was in high school again but it wasn't colorado it was like my old lutheran school/church mixed with some other school. And we were apparently having a prom. I was standing there talking to some people and I look over and Kellan was walking by this white wall, dressed in some nice clothes. I was checking him out and got butterflies in my tummy cause pfft it's Kellan. And I forgot what happened in between but we were walking into the church part, and I told Kellan that I haven't been here in a while and blah blah blah. Some other weird shit went down that I can't remember but I remember I lost Kellan and then everyone starting running out of the school. I remember people being mad at me for some reason, everyone was mad at me. I forgot what else happened but Kellan started texting me to meet him some where.
If wishes were fishes, we'd all be having a fry. haha

Random weird dreams

2009-09-27T03:39:31Z

I had a dream about Alexander Skarsgard and we were dating. I can't remember much about it but we were driving around some where, like on a bus and Kellan Lutz was sitting in front of us, I remember holding Alex's hand and rubbing my fingers gently on his palm and being all cute with him. I remember making out with Alex too. Kellan kept turning around and talking to us and smiling and Alex and I were commenting on how pretty Kellan was haha We ended up at some store for some reason and I remember some shit went down to where we had to run away. So Alex and I are running and the guy that played Ray in Generation Kill was there and he was running away with us but something happened to where he was further behind. I think we were running out of this warehouse and there was a large door(like the kind that semi trucks back into to unload goods for stores) and there were a bunch of clothes on the ground, so Alex and I jumped down in the clothes and ducked down into this little opening that lead back into the basement of the store, he went before me and I was telling "Ray" to go the way we were but he was too far behind to hear me. I lost Alex in the basement and I was going to whisper his name but noticed a guy walking with clothes in his hands, he was leaving the basement and I waited until he was gone to call out to Alex. He heard me but couldn't find me and said "Where are you?" I was near him and started making some noises and he came over to me. "Ray" was getting the crap kicked out of him by something and Alex and I decided to save him. And thats all I remember. Really weird.

Then there are some older dreams I wrote down too. I had this one where my friend Jenny was over and she was leaving the house and shut the door on her arm some how and broke it really badly. Then, I had to get her to the hospital which was a feat in its self. Fucking weird.

Then I had this one,where I was in my old bedroom at my dads house and there was this random british chick with me and we called Jared Leto and I remember saying something to him like "You promised me we would hang out" and then he was like I know blah blah blah and then my friend Mindy showed up. Then I woke up, I can't remember what woke me up but I was pissed. haha.

Then there was this dream that I had a few months back. I wrote this one down so I could remember it. I was on a tour bus with Jenee, Tomo and Jared. And Tomo was checking me out and hitting on me and stuff. And then we end up making out in front of Jared and Jenee. Jenee tells me that Jared was jealous and you could tell by his face. We were going to see a movie and my dad was driving the tour bus. We were in his driveway and Jenee, Jared and Tomo get out of the bus for some reason and my dad starts driving away. I can't read my sleepy hand writting but it says that I told my dad that he could meet the band or something and then I woke up.

Writer's Block: On the List

2009-08-31T06:10:54Z

What is on your personal list of the Seven Wonders of the Modern World?

View 527 Answers

This is going to be a crappy list. My brain is tired.
1. Kellan Lutz
2. The human mind
3. cameras ( I still want to know how chemicaks can capture a moment, this includes camera phones)
4. phones and computers
5. music
6. technology
7. i guess just the world and people in general.

Writer's Block: What Makes You Feel Sexy?

2009-08-25T07:47:17Z

What makes you feel sexy?

Sponsored by Body by Victoria® from Victoria's Secret.

View 524 Answers

Writer's Block: I Love My Body Because…

2009-08-14T05:39:15Z

Why do you love your body?

Sponsored by Body by Victoria® from Victoria's Secret.

View 517 Answers

I don't. I hate it. I'll probably never be happy with it.

Writer's Block: Birthday Shout-out

2009-07-31T21:52:11Z

Happy birthday, J.K. Rowling! Which of her seven Harry Potter novels do you think is the most satisfying read?

View 509 Answers

I guess I'm the only one in the world that thinks Harry Potter sucks.

Writer's Block: Bite Me

2009-07-28T02:51:08Z

From Dr. Polidori's Lord Ruthven to Stephenie Meyer's Edward Cullen, the annals of vampire lore are filled with attractive, charming bloodsuckers. Which one would you most want to be bitten by?

View 512 Answers

There are so many, it's hard to choose. And I could talk about this all day. I've always had a thing for Deacon Frost, Louis du Pointe du Lac, Lestat(Stuart Townsend, not Tom Cruise), and Blade. But there are many others that I would let bite me: I'm starting to grow on Eric the vampire from the True Blood series(books and show), Jean-Claude from the Anita Blake series, and I'm a little gay for BloodRayne(the video game, not the crappy movies.) There are probably many vampires that I love that I'm forgetting but oh well. I know nearly half of the people who answer this is going to say Twilight, I'm so fucking sick of Twilight. I tried reading the first book and couldn't finish it. Horrible. Stop with the Twilight bullshit and read some good vampire novels. Moral of the story is Deacon Frost and Louis could suck on me all night long. :P
OH! I forgot to mention The Lost Boys! Kiefer Sutherland and his blond mullet. HOT!!!

Writer's Block: Le Quatorze Juillet

2009-07-15T00:24:09Z

Happy Bastille Day! Today the French celebrate the event that sparked the French revolution. In honor of our Francophone friends, what is your favorite French thing? Bonus points for answers en français.

View 502 Answers

I love French accents and French food! I can't speak fluent French but I'm going to learn how to pretty soon after I learn German.

Going away

2009-07-11T01:27:48Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF0xYMip048

Oh Shawn, you made me sad.

Writer's Block: Fashion Forward

2009-07-09T01:27:23Z

What do you think we'll be wearing twenty years from now?

Presented by Intel, Sponsors of Tomorrow.

View 500 Answers

In the 1930's this is what they thought we would wear in 2000 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txaR2HvnwVg
Every time I think of the future I think of the Fifth Element. But I don't think we'll be wearing anything "futuristic". It will probably be the same 'ol thing but of course with changes. But clothes now days seem to be a little stranger than usual, bright colors, strange patterns, and less fabric. I'm sure we'll be wearing less clothing. Remember back in the day when people thought we would have hover cars and we would be wearing metalic jumpsuits? I don't see that happening any time soon. Maybe it will be something more along the line of steampunk or maybe even tattered to hell clothing. Or maybe everyone will go back to wearing suits and hats and gaudy dresses. Who knows.

Writer's Block: Newsworthy

2009-07-07T20:09:34Z

What news source do you use most often?

View 500 Answers

CNN, HLN, the local Fox news and sometimes internet news feeds.

Writer's Block: Dog Day Afternoon

2009-07-04T06:37:47Z

The Dog Days of summer, the hottest days of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, start today. What's your favorite thing to do in hot weather?

View 502 Answers

Staying indoors in front of the air conditioner. I hate summer. Heat is not my cup 'o tea.

Writer's Block: Comic Instinct

2009-06-30T20:49:49Z

Do you think animals have a sense of humor?

Submitted By li_bean

View 500 Answers

That's a good question. It's possible but I'm not really sure anyone can answer this with a right answer. How is anyone to really know? But I do know that my cats do some funny shit!

Writer's Block: Department of Burning Questions

2009-06-25T01:09:20Z

In your opinion, what is the cutest animal baby?

View 500 Answers

There is no easy answer for this, nearly every single one is cute! Every one I see makes me do the "baby voice" or say AWWW! and make a silly face. So I'm not going to pick one because they are all just too adorable. Too bad they can't stay that little for forever!

Writer's Block: When I Was Young

2009-06-23T12:41:31Z

What do you miss most about being a kid?

Submitted By daeinleyof

View 502 Answers

When you're little you have nothing to worry about. Nothing to get stressed over. Those were the easiest of times. Oh and I miss the awesome toys!

Writer's Block: Teen Time Machine

2009-06-12T10:26:42Z

If you could be a teenager living in any decade, which one would you choose?

Submitted By twertle

View 502 Answers

God that's hard to choose.
I love the 1930's and 40's. But I don't think I would like to be a teenager at that time, maybe more like in my 20's or 30's, maybe try and make it into show biz.
Um. Maybe the 80's or 90's. I'm leaning more on the 90's side, cause I love grunge music. The fashions were horrid but were at least comfortable. Come on, you know you had baggy flannel shirts in your closet. But yeah I love the music, so the 90's. Final answer. haha

Writer's Block: Regrets Only

2009-06-05T23:17:17Z

Do you think that animals feel regret?

View 500 Answers

I think they do but it's probably different from humans. Just because they are animals doesn't mean they wouldn't be able to show/feel regret. They feel fear, hunger, sadness, happiness ect. just like we do, why wouldn't they share other feelings too?

So after months of waiting...

2009-05-02T08:17:48Z

I saw X-men Origins: Wolverine. I liked it, for the most part. They did Wolverine up pretty nice but Deadpool and Gambit pissed me off. Everything about Gambit pissed me off. First off he charges his cards he doesn't make them levitate and all that shit. The bo staff slam thing was dumb as hell. And his eyes are not just red. Gambit has red puples and and black for the white part( I don't know what that's called). And his accent was pretty fucking dumb. Wade Wilson was pretty cool, I liked the part where he's in the elevator and does his funny banter and gets off and fucks everyone up! But I don't like the Weapon XI bull shit. The character is cool if they would have made him someone else. That shit NEVER happened to Deadpool and that character is NOT Deadpool. I mean I know it's just a movie and he's just a comic book character but he finally gets to be in a movie and they fuck him and Gambit up. I mean if you're going to make a movie get the facts right. I'm a big Deadpool and Gambit fan and they just botched them.
Hopefully if Deadpool does get his own movie, they will do him some justice. Like a Cable and Deadpool movie would be awesome as hell!
I liked the Wolverine movie but I don't like the way they did it, like all the other mutants were just cameos to get killed off right away. I don't know I'm kinda iffy on the movie and I have a bunch of shit to say about it.
Also, at the theater I went to I couldn't even enjoy the movie. A bunch of Mexican's were sitting behind me with their children talking in Spanish the whole time and some other guy was sneezing without covering his mouth. Bad movie experience. So I'm pissed about the movie and the people in the theater. I wan't to fight someone now. GRRR Can't people just go to the theater and sit down and shut the fuck up!?!? GOD

Writer's Block: Gamer's Choice

2009-04-13T08:33:03Z

What is your favorite old-school video game?

Submitted By 2hated2care

View 503 Answers

Duke Nukem or the original Doom. Sonic the hedgehog, Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat is right up there with them too.

cold and sick.

2009-02-27T19:43:06Z

It's freezing in here. My heater is broken and they haven't come in to fix it. It feels like winter in here.

So I've been feeling really weird lately and I looked up some shit and I think I found what I have.

Dizziness:
When you might feel dizziness

Fainting or near fainting such as "at the sight of blood" or with emotional upset
Fainting or near fainting from standing up too quickly or standing still too long
Weakness during a flu, cold, or other illness
Seasickness or motion sickness
Queasiness, nausea, or vomiting
Confused thinking
Fatigue, tiredness, or daytime sleepiness
Clumsy hands or stumbling walking

Nearly any symptom or group of symptoms may accompany dizziness. These depend on the ultimate cause.

Faintness ("light-headedness") or actual fainting

Weakness

Confusion

Tiredness
Off balance

Headache or head pressure

Facial numbness, weakness, or facial droop

Eye pain, vision loss or changes, blind spots, twinkling lights

Dry mouth

Ringing in ears, decreased hearing

Chest: pain (tightness, squeezing, burning, or pressure), shortness of breath, palpitations, jaw pain
Abdomen: nausea, vomiting, pain, cramping
Extremities (arms and legs): tingling, weakness, clumsiness or weakness, fast, slow, or irregular pulses

Anxiety:
Anxiety can be accompanied by a variety of physical symptoms. Most commonly, these symptoms are related to the heart, lungs, nervous, and gastrointestinal systems. You may have upset stomach, diarrhea, trouble breathing, feel as if you may faint or are having a heart attack.

Panic disorder: In addition to attacks of anxiety, called panic attacks, common symptoms of panic disorders are stomach upset, palpitations (feeling your heart beat), dizziness, and shortness of breath. These same symptoms also can be caused by caffeine consumption, amphetamines ("speed" is the street slang for amphetamines when they are not prescribed by a doctor), an overactive thyroid, abnormal heart rhythms, and other heart abnormalities (such as mitral valve prolapse). The panic attack sufferer may experience their mind going blank or that they somehow do not feel real, in that they feel as if they are looking at themselves from outside of themselves. In order to qualify for the diagnosis of panic disorder, the individual would experience repeated panic attacks rather than just one episode.

Generalized anxiety disorder: Those who endure this condition experience numerous worries that are more often on the mind of the sufferer than not. Those worries interfere with the person's ability to sleep or otherwise function.

Panic disorder: recurrent episodes of panic attacks, worry about having an attack, about what it means, or changing the way one behaves because of the panic attacks for at least a month. Panic attacks are separate and intense periods of fear or feelings of doom developing over a very short time frame-10 minutes-and they're associated with at least four of the following:

Palpitations
Sweating
Trembling
Shortness of breath
Sense of choking
Chest pain
Nausea or other stomach upset
Dizziness
A feeling of being detached from the world (derealization)
Being unable to think, feeling as if the mind has gone blank
Fear of dying
Numbness or tingling
Chills or hot flashes

Generalized anxiety disorder: excessive, unrealistic, and difficult to control worry over a period of at least six months. It's associated with three of the following:

Restlessness
Easily tired
Trouble concentrating
Irritability
Muscle tension
Sleep problems

Phobic disorders: intense, persistent, and recurring fear of certain objects (such as snakes, spiders, or blood) or situations (such as heights, speaking in front of a group, or public places). These exposures may trigger a panic attack.

What a lot of reading huh? Well thats exactly how I feel. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in or at least like my eyes are some kind of window and my head is a house and I'm looking out and everything feels dizzy. Then I get this weird wave feeling that comes over me and I feel either sick or light headed. My anxiety gets so bad that it makes me feel physically sick. I should probably go see a doctor. I just wish it would go away cause the thought of going to the doctor makes me feel uneasy too. When I think of the most simple shit, like going to the store or to the doctor or dentist my body feels like it just wants to give out and faint. I really really really hate this feeling.
It came on out of no where too. They say you can get vertigo from flying or a head injury. I've done both. I fainted a couple times, one from seeing blood(my own) and one from getting my septum pierced and I think that might have done something cause ever since then I've been a little fucked up. Well actually I don't think it was from flying cause I had that sickness/light headed feeling while I got on a plane. I wish doctors made house calls cause I'm fine when I'm at home, even though when people are around me I feel anxious. Oh well. It's time for a hot bath cause I'm fucking frozen.

You know what really grinds my gears?

2009-02-09T15:43:47Z

You know what really grinds me gears?
When people pronounce potato: Po-TAH-toe. It's po-tay-toe.
When people pronounce tomato: To-MAH-toe. It's to-may-toe.

You know what? Lets call the whole thing off.

Speaking of tomatoes, you know what also grinds my gears?
Tomato. Is it a fruit or a vegetable? We all know it's a fruit but it's labeled as a vegetable and it doesn't seem to mind that. You know what, if your going to be a fruit, be a fruit. There's nothing wrong with being a fruit, tomato, so just pick one already. This is one time you can't swing both ways, Tomato. It makes it harder to determine which part of the fruit/vegetable area you would be found in in the store.

25 random things

2009-02-09T15:36:53Z

1. I hate having my nails painted(unless they are fake nails) but my toe nails MUST always have nail polish on them or I feel naked.
2. I have a strange fashion sense but I love it. I get weird looks for it too.
3. I think I have an annoying voice and I think I talk funny(like Winnona Ryder)
4. When I'm sleeping I can wake up just by someone smoking a cigarette around me or the smell of their food.
5. I don't like when people look at me, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
6. I love to smile but I hate doing it cause I know my teeth are messed up.
7. Mountain dew is not something I should drink before bed.
8. I get unhealthy obsessions over things like hunky movie stars(ie. Timothy Olyphant) or certain songs. Okay so unhealthy isn't the word for it but I get overly obsessed sometimes and it drives me nuts. I get phases of things I'm obsessed with and I have to have everything about them (like pictures or movies or what have you)
9. I used to hate reading and now I'm always doing it, weather it be a book or fan fiction. I'm very picky about the subject or the content of the book.
10. Sometimes I think I'm a little dyslexic.
11. I still have trouble reading clocks(the ones with the hands). I don't know why.
12. I'm good at memorizing things.
13. I always get this impending doom that I'm going to pass out all the time in public.
14. I'd be lost with out google.
15. I always want to write and I'm always day dreaming about things but when I go to write it down it never turns out like it is in my head.
16. Sometimes I don't make sense at all.
17. I will crack a dry joke and no one will get it and it makes me feel stupid.
18. I wish I could be more artsy.
19. I wish I wasn't such a flake sometimes.
20. I wish I could fall asleep easier.
21. I wish I could be a comic book character.
22. I wish I wasn't so weird sometimes.
23. I think I might have agoraphobia.
24. Sometimes I feel like my life is completely a waste of time and I feel like a complete waste of a person.
25. I wish I wasn't so scared of everything, I never used to be.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Home sick

2009-01-23T21:40:43Z

I'm feeling very sad today.
I saw an old man on the bus who reminded me of my father, though he looked nothing like my father. There was just something about him and I realized that I miss my dads hugs.
I almost started crying on the bus. Then we passed this fire station that reminded me of the one I used to pass all the time is Wausau. I just need to go home if only to just visit. It's been too long and the last time I was there was not on good terms(and the time before that). Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be stuck in Colorado for the rest of my life. Good lord I hope not! I never thought I'd want to go back to the tiny town where nothing ever fucking happens, but it's home. Colorado is not my home and never will be.

There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.